Dear “Exhausted Mom”….

you are not aloneEarlier today [at the park] as I sat on the bench watching my six year old glide through the monkey bars over and over… a mom came over and sat next to me. All of the sudden, I heard her burst into tears… My reaction was to ask if she was ok?!? She did not answer ( and she hid inside her scarf) I didn’t know what to do! I paused for a second and thought… should I run away?!?! But then… what if she really needed help… so I sat and waited … Then I asked again if I could help or do something?? .. As she came out off under her scarf and with tears in her eyes she asked me if I was a mom? [ I nodded] Her daughter was 2… And she was exhausted! I have not slept in two years, she said…. Will I ever get my body back? She asked … Will I ever be able to hold a normal conversation that is not about playdates and diapers? Will I ever feel sexual again? Sometimes, I secretly wish I could go back to work to my fabulous office! I love my child but I need my adult life back and everyone makes me feel so guilty about it! She said [as she wept] For the first time I just stayed quite and listened… I just wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be ok… But then my son fell off the monkey bar and I had to run to him… He was ok… but when I turned back “Exhausted Mom” was gone… So I decided to write her this note…

Dear “Exhausted Mom” – you are not alone!!! I have been there at it feels pretty shitty!!! I am sure every mother in the world has felt the same way or pretty close at some point [sometimes this feelings are intensified by hormones]… I don’t want to sound cliché but no one ever prepares us for Motherhood! This shit is tough! I don’t have all the correct answers to your questions but … I promise that if you eat healthy and work your ass off your will get your body back, or an even better one! [but you need to work hard … I am still working on mine after 4yrs, sigh]. My boys are 4 and 6 and I’m still talking about playdates but have learned to put my “Motherly Talks” to rest when my kids are not around [sometimes with new moms {friends} kids is all you have in common so …it takes practice and finding a cool group of friends]. To get your libido going…. plan a fun night out with your man [with ton of sexy cocktails – they make you feel like you’ve got your mojo back] ! Being a SAHM is not for everyone, so if you are ready to get back to work, get your hills on and get out there, there is no shame in that! I also know staying home isn’t always a choice. So you might need to tough it out for a while and get help and Power to you!! Has anyone told you how amazing you are, as a mom and a person? No, really, you are the world to a little person (or persons). You are their cook, their teacher, their playmate, their companion, their protector, their cleaner, their comedian and personal entertainer, and their mom. I know being a stay-at-home mom can feel thankless, but what you do is amazing, and you should revel in that! These are the things no one tells you, but these are the things you need to hear. I just want all moms to remember it is OK to be discouraged. I want all moms to realize there is someone out there who can relate, regardless of your experience. If you love every moment of motherhood, that is awesome. But if you struggle, there are moms like you too. They can support you as much as you support them if you let them.
So don’t be afraid to be real, to be honest and to take care of yourself first – Happy Mommy- Happy Family!!!

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